a both/and chapter

on the highs & lows of moving

It’s been a minute.

Last I shared, we were moving. Well, we moved.

People often talk about the glamorous side of moving - new careers, new restaurants to nosh at, new cities to explore, new routines to establish. What’s not talked about? How challenging it can feel to not know how to navigate highways/streets (and pot-holed ones at that, thanks, Milwaukee!), how lonely it can feel to miss your friends - and how isolating it can be when they can only resonate to a certain degree since they’re not in the thick of it all but instead (and rightfully so) in the thick of their own lives, how overwhelming it can feel when a job doesn’t meet your expectations.

Life has felt full of extreme highs and lows in the last two+ months.

The first sunny day after some chilly, unexpected April/May snow was contagiously joyous. Clinking glasses in the backyard with new friends was grounding and familiar. Sipping hot coffee from a neighborhood spot and meandering around new city blocks has brought a sense of adventure.

On the flip side, getting beat out on 8 home offers was disheartening. Struggling to find places to rent - with just days to go - was stressful. Handling simultaneous grief from a passing family member was heavy. Spending eight hours a day with impostor syndrome has felt endless. Scrolling on social media brought a sense of envy. Oh, how I crave a sense of feeling settled. How I crave feeling like I could enjoy the summer fully without big things weighing over me.

Time and time again, I’m reminded that life has its “both/and” chapters. Underlying depression can coexist with a sense of wonder and happiness. I can admire parts of this new life and miss my old.

Am I looking forward to not being in a “both/and” chapter? Absolutely. But, for now we face it head on with some acceptance (with maybe some tears still).